Thursday, May 28, 2015

Being a grown up is nothing like the brochure...



Dear younger self. I have news for you, and you're not going to like it. Ready? Here it is. 

Being an adult is nothing like what you think it's going to be.

Yes, you can stay up late, but by the time you hit your forties, sleep is a dear friend, one you're happy to spend time with. Oh sure, you'll occasionally miss your old friends, Wild Times and I Can't Believe I did That. There will be nights you even stay up late and revert to youth-like behaviour, but those times won't come often, and it will take you days to recover. Not hours. Days. And yes, you will start taking naps. I know, you can't believe that day will ever come, but it will. Trust me. 

It's true, you can have cereal for dinner and no one will judge you. You can even eat nothing but ice cream and waffles for a week if you want to. No parent will nag. No one will materialize at your side and hand you a carrot stick. But one day you'll find yourself standing in the chips aisle, reading the nutritional info on the side of that jumbo bag of Doritos, and you'll put the damn thing back on the shelf. Words like, sodium content, MSG, empty carbs, and trans fats will fill your head, and when you get to the till you will find you're big treat of the week isn't a pint of Hagen Daz, but a bowl of fresh blueberries (anti-oxidants) and a container of low-fat, all natural yogurt. 

When you're young, getting a letter or any kind of mail was an adventure. Later on, the mail is nothing more than a reminder that bills are coming due. I stepped into the elevator last night and started sorting through my mail. Two bills, a letter from my financial planner reminding me I need to come in and talk about insurance and retirement planning, and the strata meeting minutes from our annual general meeting earlier in the month. As I stared at this bounty of boring, I was struck with the realization that this was my life now. 

That car you always dreamed of having? The one that went from zero to "holy shit" in less than six seconds and would make you look glamorous and successful just being seen driving it? You're not going to own that car. You're going to end up driving something sensible, with good gas mileage and a turning radius that lets you parallel park like a champ. 

And if you think that just because you became an adult, that means your parents stop trying to parent you? It isn't going to happen. Instead of questions about the last time you brushed your teeth, you'll get queries on when you last had the oil changed in your car. The questions change, but the motivation never will. They're your parents, and they will continue their loving interference into your life until the day they die. Get used to it.

Being in charge of your own life sounds wonderful. You're finally in control, no one else to answer to, your destiny is your own. What it really means is that you have no one else to blame when you make mistakes, and you will make mistakes, lots of them. You will also have to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life, and there are no takebacks. Life is an adventure, but it comes with sleepless nights and a nightstand drawer that includes a bottle of antacids. 



Before you give up hope and go hide in your blanket fort, there's one more thing I need to tell you. It's going to be nothing like you are expected, but it's worth every struggle and challenge.

And give your parents a break about their weird need for naps. In twenty years, you'll understand.







Wednesday, May 20, 2015

It's wack-a-doodle Wednesday...Yes, I'm making that a thing.

I must have missed the memo that went out proclaiming today Wack-a-doodle day. There had to be one because otherwise the crazy people of the world have managed to coordinate themselves to an alarming degree without help, and that's a damned unsettling idea.




I work for a property management firm, and you might think this gives me some protection from the crazy. You would be wrong. While it is rare for me to have direct contact with these escapees from reality, I'm often the victim of secondary exposure. This happens when the crazy ones make the various apartment managers so confounded and confuddled that they call the main office seeking clarification and/or crisis counselling.

In the past twenty-four hours I have had the dubious honour of being verbally accosted in two languages by an angry tenant who failed to understand that they had violated a clause in their lease and they were being given an opportunity to fix the issue before we took further measures. Instead of fixing the problem, they went on the warpath. First they yelled at the on-site manager, and when that didn't work, they called the office.

We were wrong to do this. I was a liar. I was a harasser of innocent people. We were going to be sued. When it was over I got to write up an incident report. A good time was had by all.

A few hours ago, the manager of that same building called me again. (it seems to be her week.) Now, one of the tenants has reported a possible brothel in the building. 

How do they know this? Why, it's obvious!  By spending vast amounts of time observing the security camera footage at the front door of the building, this tenant knows when someone arrives at the building, and then goes to the front door of their suite to spy through the peephole and determine if the new guest arrives at the neighbour's door. There are simply too many people visiting the elderly neighbour for the complainant's liking, thus, it must be a brothel. 

Did I mention that both the complainant and the accused are over eighty? Just mull that over for a bit, I'll wait for you to get over the giggles. 

And while we're on the subject of sex, I should mention that we opened the outdoor pool at that same building this past weekend. We've now got a betting pool on how many days it will be before we have to send the season's first "stop having public orgies in the pool, please" letter. This pool is in the centre of a courtyard, surrounded by apartments on all sides (half of which are for residents over the age of 50). It's about as private as highway intersection during rush hour and has nearly perfect acoustics, but that doesn't stop some tenants from giving a public performance a few times a year. 

Given the way this day is going, I'm going to bet that tomorrow we'll be penning that first "cease and desist" letter. 

The funny thing is, if I tried to put this stuff into my books, no one would believe this sort of thing really happens. 





Thursday, May 14, 2015

Summoned Series Romances - Release Celebration Sale





To celebrate the May 29th release of Summoned and Bound, I’m putting the first two books in the Summoned Series on sale for a limited time.

Summoned and Sold 

Summoned and Stolen 

Only .99 cents.




Amazon



All Romance Ebooks




**B&N, Kobo, Itunes etc will be available in the next few days depending on speed of distribution**


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Summoned and Bound - An introduction to the characters



When I started writing the first book in the Summoned Series back in 2013, I created a character only referred to as Mistress. She delivered the heroine of Summoned and Sold to her fate and then vanished from the story. I thought that would be the last time I thought about her, but I was wrong. That small appearance led to another one in Summoned and Stolen, and Mistress kept whispering to me that she had her own story, one that I needed to write. Summoned and Bound is her story.


Gwyneth Annaren is an Elemental, a powerful race of spell-weavers that vanished without a trace more than a hundred years ago. Enslaved when she was little more than a child, she has spent her life in the service of a cruel sorcerer she calls master.

She lives purely in the present, never allowing herself to remember her past or dream of a future where she is free. And then her master summons a gargoyle shifter into slavery, and everything changes.



Vamir Halmar is the Commander of the last Company of Guardians, Garda warriors created in the distant past to protect their creators, the elementals. His life is one of duty, sacrifice, and unwavering purpose. Hunt down the enemies of his people and make it safe for the Garda and the Elementals to live free once more. 

The day he's summoned into a life of slavery, he finds not only the enemy he's sworn to destroy, but a beautiful elemental who fires his blood and calls to his soul. No matter what the price may be, he knows he cannot leave Gwyneth behind. 






You can read more about the Summoned Series

And you can preorder Summoned and Bound at 
 
(Releasing for sale at Amazon, ARe, B&N and other retailers May 29th, 2015)


Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Cover Reveal - Summoned and Bound





Two souls bound by fate. Two lovers enslaved by magic.

Vamir Halmar is the Commander of the last Company of Guardians. When a summoning spell targets the wrong man and drops Vamir into the enemy’s hands, he discovers his salvation in the form of a beautiful slave with quicksilver eyes and the heart of a warrior.

Torn from her family and home before she had grown into her powers, Gwyneth Annaren has spent most of her life as the unwilling servant to one of the most fearsome Magi. When Vamir is accidently summoned by her master, she finds herself face to face with a living reminder of the past she has forced herself to forget. The handsome guardian is as dangerous to her as he is compelling, tempting her to dream of freedom and an end to her loneliness.

Can they have a future together, or will the price of their freedom be paid in sacrifice and heartbreak?

Now ava

Now on Preorder at Amazon

Releasing in all formats May 29th, 2015


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The Online Dating Saga Continues



Last week I blogged about my decision to try online dating again, and how it was going so far. Things have been so strange that last week's post now requires a sequel. I can confirm that my online dating curse is alive and working with terrifying results.

The fellow who left me the cryptic messages last week turned out to be an ex-boyfriend from twenty years ago. On the upside, he's not a stalker. On the downside? He's forty-four years old, currently unemployed and living at home with his mother.

Another ex-boyfriend (this one from a different decade) added me to his favorites list and ticked the "I want to meet you," box. Which would be sweet, only we're facebook friends and went out for coffee a few months ago...

After that, it just gets sad. 

I've been contacted by the following men:

  • A thirty-year-old looking for a sugar momma. (Ha! I can't afford to spoil myself, never mind anyone else.)

  • A man with no picture, no personal information, and an "about me" section laden with explicit descriptions of his foot fetish requirements. His email was simple and to the point. "Are your feet as sexy as your smile? Please don't answer if you were a dancer or gymnast." 

  • There was a one-word note "wow," from a fellow who explained in his profile that he is separated, still lives with his wife and kids (with no plans to change that) and is looking for a friends with benefits relationship with a woman with her own place and a car so she can drive him. And he's a pot smoker/drinker.

  • And then there was the email from another no picture profile. "Vry sexy. U like lether?" I checked his profile, and at the bottom of a badly spelled and somewhat rambling bio I found this line. "Mister Grey without the mony, lookin for my Miss Steel without the virginty issue."

I have a feeling that I'm not going to find my Happily Ever After online. I'm going back to smiling at strangers in the produce section. That way at least they won't ask me about my feet...I hope.





Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I swore I was done online dating...but I wasn't.

Many, many moons ago, I deleted all my online dating profiles, convinced that I was cursed and would have better luck smiling at strangers in the produce section at the grocery store. Given the fact I'm still very single, that didn't work out quite as planned...and so in a moment of weakness I signed up for Plenty of Fish. New profile, new pictures, answered all those questions they ask with a fresh perspective and more attitude.

So far, It would seem I'm still cursed.



It's not that I haven't had any interest. It's that the interest I've gained is from men who aren't quite what I'm looking for. Not a hookup or a hangout, but an actual relationship, with dates and laughter and stuff. The last time I did this, I got a detailed and very polite email from a young man who was looking for a full-time Domme. I had another email from a seventy + year old who was looking for a "travelling companion." He thoughtfully included  several naked pictures of himself.

This time isn't looking much more promising. I've had an invitation to meet with a man and his wife who are active swingers. There was an email from a fellow who explained that he was only in town for a few days, gave me his hotel address in the first email, and used the words "honest and discrete," to describe himself. The computerized matching system informed me that I was highly compatible with one fellow, and when I clicked on the link I burst out laughing as I saw the face of a high school boyfriend. Not so compatible, thank you, computer algorithms.

Today I got an email from a profile with no name and no picture. All it said was "if that is you Sue your still as beautiful as you were when we dated back in the day." 

Flattering, definitely. A tad disconcerting? You betcha.  Did I mention I have no idea who this person is?  The only picture with his profile is of a teddy-bear. What day were we dating in? Hell, which decade? Is he the one that got away, or one of the ones I ran from? (there are a lot more of the latter than the former, the odds are not in my favour here.)

I am not ready to give up just yet, but my optimism is waning fast. We'll see what the next few days brings. I've still got hope I'll get a date out of this adventure. If not, I've got more fodder for my books.

Wish me luck.